I have been reading books about labor with a lot of verve lately, including Ida May’s book, and have been thinking about my upcoming labor off and on because of all my reading. Haven’t been feeling scared necessarily, despite the fact that I keep getting almost double-edged compliments about how brave I am to have a home birth. On the contrary, I’ve been allowing myself to daydream about my ideal labor experience, in hopes that I could manifest that for myself as well as I’ve done with all this rain…
And yet, when my midwife asked me about some of my self-confessed labor daydreams, I became suddenly and surprisingly incapacitated by tears. Granted, this is a super-hormonal time for me, with intense rushes of emotion one minute and weird drunken energy the next. But I’m getting choked up again, just thinking about how I was getting choked up.
What gives?
