We are each other’s angels November 25, 2008

Auntie J to the rescue!

Today my good friend Lady J came over and let me take a baby-free nap for over 3 hours… it was HEAVEN. She also changed diapers, folded laundry, washed all the dishes in the sink, and held and soothed the baby while I cooked the shrimp alfredo I had been craving. And then poof! She was gone. Luckily, I have evidence of her passing (not just that the black circles under my eyes have faded to light grey). Don’t let this hard-boiled broad fool you – she is wonderful with babies.

Thanks to Auntie J for contributing to the sanity of Amelia’s mother! I was nearing the end of my rope, and now my head is above water enough to mix a metaphor or two.

On a different note, see below for what I find when trekking from our bedroom to Amelia’s nursery (where the diapers live) in the middle of the night. The glider may belong to Amelia and me during the day, but we can’t hog it 24 hours a day it seems…

where have all the swaddles gone? November 24, 2008

Mere days ago, Amelia would get swaddled within an inch of her life, with the patented Mexican Swaddle technique taught to us by our midwife, and slumber for 3 whole hours at night before waking us up for a feeding.

Mexican swaddle

But on Thursday night, the power of the swaddle failed us. We were thrown, bereft of any strategies other than nursing, upon the rocks of late night wakefulness. Amelia would sleep for an hour, tops, before waking up and nursing for another hour, only to sleep that milk off in less than 30 minutes. Other nights she would wake at midnight and not drift off again, fully, until 4 AM. She would require 4-5 diaper changes a night (all that nighttime feeding) and when re-swaddled, would scream bloody murder, arching her back and struggling all the while.

Last night I finally gave up on the swaddle altogether, as even nursing (panacea of panaceas) wasn’t assuaging her swaddle-induced torment. She had slept like a rock from 7-9 PM, and then when taken to bed at 9, wouldn’t sleep for 2 whole hours and 2 diapers – dear reader, let me tell you: there were tears, and Amelia’s eyes were dry. Tom made me promise to call people this morning and ask for help with the sleeping torture. Sniffling, I promised. Amelia dropped off the boob. I switched off the light, hoping her doze would hold for at least half and hour. I woke up again at 1 AM, only to find her still asleep. I woke at 3 AM, and she was STILL asleep. The world stayed upside down like this until 4:30 AM, when she needed a diaper change, and then dropped off again until 7 AM, when Tom went in to work. Miracle of miracles!

Of course, then I started wondering if she was sick or something…

I’m sure this is all par for the course and it’s just that I’m over-emphasizing the need for night-time sleep, right? That I have unrealistic expectations that she might sleep, reliably, for at least 3 hour intervals while it’s dark out? Do other babies reject the swaddle at 2 weeks? Am I swaddling wrong? Now that I’ve got some sleep under my belt, I’m much more able to stand the truth, so give it to me straight.

oh, sleep November 22, 2008

I miss you so much…

She can’t get no November 20, 2008

Amelia seems to be in another growth spurt – she’s been cluster feeding again, which today meant that she’s nursed practically non-stop since about 10 am and hasn’t napped longer than 30 minutes all day. Wow!  Since Tom was at work all day, this means that I prepared all my meals and attended to all my other necessary bodily functions in quick, frantic intervals or with the baby in my arms.  Needless to say, I mostly watched Insta-Netflix all day.

What’s starting to sink in for me is how boring maternity leave might get.  I love caring for my daughter, but at the end of the day I also like thinking, “well, I got that done anyway.”  A successful day of changing diapers and feeding the baby doesn’t feel like I’m really … I don’t know, making progress?  Accomplishing something?

Should I be more zen about this?  Am I being unloving?  After all, on days like this I can barely care for both of us.  And I can’t imagine being a good mother to a newborn if I had another priority to attend to as well.

… frantically demanded nursing break …

Not trying to complain.  Not sure what’s the point here.  Probably I just need to get out of the house again.  Argh.

wiggle worm November 18, 2008

One of the most beautiful things about my baby today is how she moves when she’s alert and (mostly) awake. She loves to kick her feet and wave her arms and stick her tongue out.

Amelia’s jaundice is starting to recede (according to Tom who hadn’t seen her all day and is thus a more reliable source than I am), and she’s starting to get on a more reasonable nursing/sleeping schedule. Though, I will say, she does occasionally binge on breast milk: she’ll nurse and nurse until she’s spitting up, and then she still insists on hitting the booby for more-More-MORE!

We went to the grocery store together today. I thought a small outing would be a good way to get ready for our bigger outing tomorrow afternoon, when we’re going to drop off the used diapers and pick up clean nice ones. (We’re too far out of town for the service to come pick them up.) Driving was a real trip – I was all hesitant and nervous, and felt rather checked out. Grocery shopping was equally trippy; it felt wrong to be attending to Things Not Amelia. The whole world seems way too big for my little girl… how do all those other parents do it?

things a new mother doesn’t realize until the baby comes November 17, 2008

Sleeping after nursing

1.) Sleep is the best thing in the world, and you don’t need much of it to feel WAY better.

2.) Newborns wear hats a lot. More than anyone else wears hats, I think, except for the Queen of England (and the Queen Mother).

3.) Breastfeeding will keep you just as hungry, but it will be difficult to remember to eat.

4.) Staring at your perfect baby is a full time job. And sometimes you need more than one pair of eyes.

5.) You will get more done in your daughter’s 45 minute nap than most people accomplish in an entire weekend.

6.) It’s important to keep extra batteries handy for the camera, because she needs to be photographed about every 3 hours.

7.) Your friends and family are more of a blessing than you ever thought possible, and you don’t deserve them.

8.) Rocking chairs kick the ass off a Mexican donkey.

9.) What a sitz bath is and why.

10.) Life will just get more complicated from now on, but in a beautiful, kaleidoscopic way that is infinitely more rich and delicious than you ever thought possible.

visits November 16, 2008

Most of Tom’s family came to visit the baby yesterday – my family is all in Portland and will be visiting in December – and we had some help staring at Amelia. Her 4-year-old cousin was quite surprised to learn about breastfeeding, and seemed comforted to learn that she had never eaten from someone’s “boobo.” (Kennedy’s mother is diabetic and K spent a week or so in the NICU when she was born.)

Tom’s dad Barney is a beamingly proud “Paw-Paw.” Uncle Gus also visited in the morning but we weren’t bright enough to photograph the event.

3 generations

2 brothers 2 cousins

1 proud Paw-Paw

walkies November 14, 2008

Amelia and I took our first walk today.  Tom got the BOB all set up with the car seat adaptor last night, and I had planned to get out by about 9ish but Miss A had other ideas.  Finally, she had a big poop (a friend advised me to wait for this felicitous event before leaving the house) and we were able to dress and strap in and amble carefully around the neighborhood in the sunshine and fresh air for about 30 minutes.

She found it all very bright and squinty, I think, but it was nice to enjoy the beautiful 70 degree day before the cold front rolls in tonight.  Last day of Fall before Winter?  Hard to say in Texas, but I’m glad for the field trip nonetheless.

Hello, big world!

My dear friend Jane, who dropped everything to fly to Austin on Sunday upon hearing I went into early labor, left this morning for Charlotte and points beyond.  She drove us to the hospital when we transported, was present for Amelia’s birth, took us home when we sprung ourselves, and took good care of both Tom and I during the last week.  She cooked for us and did dishes, laundry, and anything else we needed, all while working remotely on deadlines that didn’t care about my early birdie.    We’ve been friends since we were 19, and the bonus of having her here this week is yet another example of the weird serendipity that came in to play with Amelia’s very unexpected arrival.  Thank you Jane – can’t wait to see you again in March!

Amelia has a taste for adventure, just like her Aunt Jane!

love November 14, 2008

words fail

home November 12, 2008

Andrea here. Got the hospital to spring us a day early by signing terrifying waivers that over-rode the pediatrician’s “ethical objections” to letting the kid go on Tuesday due to the long-ruptured amniotic sac issue. Turns out that as much as some obstetricians might object to you preferring midwifery, pediatricians REALLY object to you preferring midwifery. Who knew?

Not too much tonight about our Lost Weekend – except to thank everyone who came and helped at the house and commented so kindly on the blog – but thought I’d write in to say I’m home and doing fine – and also show off our new creation, Miss Amelia Herself, sacked out in the pink papasan chair. Here she is fighting the sleep-giving powers of the buzzy chair, because she’s already nursed the crap out of me tonight and I broke The First Rule and didn’t sleep when the baby slept – so now she’s wide awake and wants to nurse and I’m falling asleep at the Boppy. Come on, buzzy chair, do your magic!

Night.

Who will win out? Amelia or the buzzy chair?