The weekend January 25, 2009

We had a pretty decent weekend – I took Amelia all day on Saturday so Tom could get some plumbing chores done around the house that had been bothering him (valves & faucets & whatnot), and we stayed up late (9 pm!) to watch an excellent episode of Dr. Who. Amelia saved her fussing for the evening, and only put about 90 minutes in, and even that was in spurts.

This morning we got up early so I could make some delicious home fries (white + sweet taters) to take to the very first Tara House parents’ group Sunday potluck brunch. The mamas’ group organized around my midwife, which meets at her office Tara House, had arranged this gathering before I had to stop attending the mamas’ group, which meets on Fridays (a day I work from the office).

It was a riotous good time, with about 7 families with new(ish)borns and older kids, and it was fun to meet all the other mamas’ husbands/partners. This is a pretty “crunchy” bunch of people (as in granola), so we have a fair bit in common with them OTHER than the fact that we all planned home births with the same midwife and have little babies. I’m glad we went, and look forward to deepening some of those relationships.

Did some grocery shopping on our way home, and our friends Josh & Jessica came over; josh to take Tom out for a beer and Jessica to play with the baby while I cooked for the week. What with all the things I’ve cut out of my diet, I pretty much can only eat home-cooked stuff, so it’s important to have enough food on hand during the work week when everything’s crazy. Jessica excels at baby duty, and we had a grand time venting about discussing the varied foolishnesses of people in our workplaces. So I got some girlfriend time as well as making some mushroom barley soup, poached salmon, roasted sweet potatoes and shitake mushroom quinoa. Then Amanda dropped off a meal too, so we are golden in the food dept! Always a good feeling at the beginning of a week.

Amelia remains very fussy, but I have a new trick in which I nurse her while walking around (not my most glamorous moment but oh well) that soothes when nothing else will, so far. Nice thing about kids is, everything changes all the bloody time.

And so it goes.

Well, I don’t know what the hell’s going on. January 23, 2009

Amelia’s spent most of the last three days on the “If I’m Awake, I’m Crying At The Top Of My Lungs” train.

She’s on Zantac to ease the reflux that seems to be causing her recurring ear infections. She takes simethecone drops to control gas in her belly. She had her second shot of antibiotics on Tuesday. There’s gripe water if the simethecone isn’t enough. There are ear drops for pain in the ear and Tylenol for general pain. We elevate her while feeding and do our best to keep her upright for at least 30 minutes afterwards. We burp her during feedings, and after. She sleeps with her head & torso elevated. I’ve cut everything out of my diet except chicken, rice and oatmeal. She’s getting acupressure and craniosacral therapy.

What the hell else could be wrong? What on earth else are we supposed to do? She cries for HOURS, and will not be consoled.

It really sucks to be doing everything you know to do and to still fail utterly.

You know things are getting a little better when you can photograph a baby smile. January 21, 2009

Since seeing the craniosacral therapist last Friday, we’ve had quite a few unassisted poops, some of them straining-free and some of them not.  Upon following up with the pediatrician yesterday (who was running an HOUR late, no exaggeration – argh!), Amelia’s ears were pink again, at the danger-level for infection, so we did another shot of Rocephrin, much as I hated to agree to it.  Another shot seemed preferable to oral antibiotics as we feel like we’re starting to get the “flow” resumed in her GI tract, and the wait-and-see approach felt like it was going to result in a visit to the weekend urgent care.  Doesn’t it always?  Stupid parenting and its tough calls!

We see Behice again this afternoon,and I hope it will result more progress with Amelia’s strain-free autonomous pooping, and also address her constant nasal congestion and suspected GERD.  We’ve started Amelia on baby Zantac, which I am not seeing a lot of results from in the first 12 hours, but we’ll see.  The thought there is that her reflux is pushing milk into her sinuses and ear canal, and causing recurring ear infections.  Thus, if we control the reflux we subsequently control the nasal congestion and ear troubles.  Oy.

That being said, she’s feeling a little better in recent days – those smiles are fuel that Tom and I gobble up so that we can withstand the crying jags.  Everyone assures us that we’ll get past this rough patch and soon have a giggly, snuggly baby who we can watch learn and grow… we can’t wait!  Bring it!

On the work front, I am feeling a little more like I have a better handle on this work-from-home thing on this, my third week.  Tom’s work is still making it difficult for him, though.  Baby steps – not just for babies anymore!

Baby Elvis January 20, 2009

How do you know if you’ve broken your toe? January 18, 2009

Because I think I did, when I ran into the kitchen step stool.  For something made by Ikea, it’s pretty bulky.

We had a pretty peaceful day yesterday, though she had her normal 2-3 hours of fussiness in the evening.  We dodn’t get to bed until 9:30, and so she didn’t sleep as well as she could have.   But up at 2 and 5 is not so bad, considering.

Today, she’s been more fussy.  But we did get the house cleaned up, and I made some chicken and wild rice soup.  I packed the soup with vegetables, chopped up in my new food processor.

Weekends are the nicest because we don’t have to do anything but care for the baby and ourselves.  Watch your step, though.

I never thought I’d be so excited about poop. January 17, 2009

So in our ever-widening search for an alternative to the buttstick
“treatment.” I made an appointment with a craniosacral therapist found for us by my friend Jane, who also studied CST.  The remarkably named Behice Kutay agreed to see Amelia the very next day, so she wouldn’t have to suffer all weekend, and gave Amelia an equally remarkable treatment.  My little girl was cheery and alert through about 20 minutes of the 30ish minute treatment, and Behice finished the treatment with Amelia nursing, which was nice.

CST can look a lot like laying-on-of-hands, but Behice also did some lymphatic massage and visceral manipulation on Amelia’s little belly.  She also showed us some ways to massage Amelia’s ears and help them drain on their own, as well as some different holds that Amelia enjoys.  Seeing my daughter so calm and happily being treated by this serene, gentle woman brought tears to my eyes, I’ll tell you.  One thing that this colic nightmare has done is make me into an old softie, for sure.

We had a follow-up with the pediatrician that afternoon, and the doctor said Amelia’s ears had completely cleared up, so no more antibiotic shots would be necessary.  Yay!

Also that afternoon, Amelia was sitting in the buzzy chair while Tom worked on the computer and she had a great big poop with nary a whimper or cry.  That’s the first time that’s happened in weeks, people!  All of a sudden my whole outlook was a lot sunnier and brighter.

Amelia had a pretty good night last night, only slightly restless, and is currently sleeping in the Ergo, worn by Tom. She hasn’t had another unassisted poop, but the possibility is back, and that’s good enough for now. We’re doing our best to wear her more, as Dr. Sears swears that it helps babies be calmer and happier overall.

We see Behice again (her name is pronounced beh-HEE-chay, fyi) again on Tuesday and also have another follow up with the pediatrician.  We’ve also been given a Red Tent, in which people agree to bring you meals for a couple of days a month, by my Austin Mamas Yahoo group, which should take some of the pressure off.

That being said, I just got a shiny new Kitchenaid 12-cup food processor (to celebrate the significant bonuses both Tom and I got this year), and I want to use it!  So I’m making a chicken vegetable soup this afternoon, after I get some of the work done that I didn’t finish because of doctors’ visits.

Happy Saturday, everyone!

It doesn’t rain but it pours… January 15, 2009

Yesterday I asked our midwife if she knew of any alternate treatments that might be kinder than the buttstick, and while she had no magic bullet, she did recommend that we see some one for a Tui Na treatment – which is a kind of acupressure.  So I high-tailed it to AOMA Professional Clinic and saw Dr. Jamie Wu, who specializes in pediatric Tui Na.  He gave me some acupressure routines to perform on Amelia that should help her congestion and her digestion issues.  Dr. Wu and GB have both seen some really miraculous results from this treatment, so cross your fingers for us.

Then today we went to the pediatrician for a follow-up visit and discovered that on top of everything, Amelia has an ear infection.  We think some of the reflux, possibly from when she strains to poop, aspirated up into her ears and mucked up the works.  We had an antibiotic shot at the doctor’s office (which coincidentally is also the treatment for salmonella, if that test comes back positive), and will need to keep a close eye on her over the next couple of days.

Upon talking with Dr Parr, it seems like the buttstick is something that we really have to do, but she did suggest we get a smaller one from the surgeon for now, as this one is so painful for her.  Tom volunteered to do the buttstick insertion (as I’m so completely loathe to do it), saying that he’d rather have her hate him than hate me.  Funny how parenthood re-phrases declarations of true love, isn’t it?

Oh, and also my cell phone died this morning.  Not the battery – the PHONE.

Tight-ass January 14, 2009

Sorry for the long-time-no-post, but it’s been a little tense and busy around the place for the last week or so…

Amelia has been struggling for weeks now with ever-escalating problems including:

green, foul-smelling, liquid, frothy and occasionally bloody poop
constipation (painfully straining for hours to poop or fart)
increasingly frequent spitting up
nasal congestion
coughing
tight tummy that’s painful to the touch
bouts of colic

With both Tom and I trying to work from home and care for her simultaneously, it’s been a real struggle to keep her comfortable and still get work done during this trial period our employers have both given us.  As an example, I’ve had to interrupt the typing of this post 4 times so far to comfort her as she wakes up from unsuccessfully straining to poop/fart.

Make that five.

We saw our pediatrician, Dr. Parr, yesterday – on the bright side, she’s not brushing us off.  She took some blood & an x-ray because of the stool sample we gave her last week with blood in it.  She requested more stool samples to test for salmonella & rotovirus, etc.  Dr. Parr’s rough diagnosis is that we’ve got a combination of reflux, colic and maybe something else. We’re using a combination of simethecone drops, gripe water and glycerin suppositories while feeding her on an incline, burping frequently, and trying to keep her vertical for 30 minutes after eating.

I’ve already cut out dairy, soy, wheat, nuts, legumes, chocolate, spice, and all gas-causing vegetables and fruits from my diet, as well as all high-acid fruits & veg. (If you’re wondering, that leaves rice, meat, oatmeal, potatoes, zucchini, apples, and Hagen Daz sorbet.)   Dr. Parr now wants us to try a special colic formula for a couple of days to see if that makes any difference. But not until I collect another stool sample by laying Amelia’s butt on plastic wrap and inserting a rectal thermometer….

Upon seeing the x-ray yesterday, Dr. Parr got very worried about possible bowel irritation and rushed us to see Dr. Josephs, a pediatric surgeon up by Dell Children’s.  They worked us in that same afternoon, so off to the surgeon we went, trying not to panic all the way there and while in the waiting room for an hour after being told I shouldn’t nurse her until the doctor saw her in case we had to rush her to surgery!

Dr. Josephs was not at all worried by the x-ray but confirmed Dr. Parr’s observation that Amelia has “anal stenosis,” which means her anus is unusually tight – hence the inordinate straining to poop.  ( It is generally agreed that she gets this from her father.)  His instructions were that we needed to “condition the muscle” by sticking an 11 mm “anal dilator” stick up her butt twice a day for 2 weeks, then return to his office for a bigger stick.  This can evidently take a number of months.

The buttstick hurts her, and quite frankly, it feels like I’ve just been told to anally rape my infant daughter twice a day for 3 months. Between the drops, the suppostitories, the buttstick, the painstaking feeding, the restricted diet, and the thought that perhaps it’s just my breastmilk that’s poisoning her despite my best efforts, I’m at the end of my tether.

I really want Amelia to be well and free from pain.  And I hate to admit that I really want her to be well so I can just enjoy my precious baby without having to keep all these obnoxious, exhausting balls in the air all the time.

I guess I’m feeling sorry for myself, and I really do feel sorry for her in her pain & discomfort, but it’s so hard when NOTHING I do seems to help and all the treatments we’re given only piss her off or make her more miserable!

Anyway, if you have a little extra strength to send suffering parents and baby, please do.  We’re miserable and tired (and I’m hungry) and the light at the end of the tunnel seems really, really dim.

Back at it January 5, 2009

Today was my first day back at work after 8 weeks of maternity leave.  Tom had the baby for about 12 hours, and at one point she cried for almost an hour solid.  She was fussy and reluctant to take the bottle, the latter of which is actually pretty rare heretofore.

I worked 10 hours on 3 hours of sleep and pumped milk out of my breasts three times today in a freezing IT closet.

Tomorrow Tom goes in to work for 12 or 14 hours and I try to work for 5 hours while caring for Amelia and getting her to her first pediatrician appointment.

January might be a long month.