Careening & Gestating

In which I document my voyage through the mysterious and bizarre lands of Creating Life.

where have all the swaddles gone? November 24, 2008

Filed under: postpartum, respite and nepenthe — andreamiddleton @ 11:07 am

Mere days ago, Amelia would get swaddled within an inch of her life, with the patented Mexican Swaddle technique taught to us by our midwife, and slumber for 3 whole hours at night before waking us up for a feeding.

Mexican swaddle

Mexican swaddle

But on Thursday night, the power of the swaddle failed us. We were thrown, bereft of any strategies other than nursing, upon the rocks of late night wakefulness. Amelia would sleep for an hour, tops, before waking up and nursing for another hour, only to sleep that milk off in less than 30 minutes. Other nights she would wake at midnight and not drift off again, fully, until 4 AM. She would require 4-5 diaper changes a night (all that nighttime feeding) and when re-swaddled, would scream bloody murder, arching her back and struggling all the while.

Last night I finally gave up on the swaddle altogether, as even nursing (panacea of panaceas) wasn’t assuaging her swaddle-induced torment. She had slept like a rock from 7-9 PM, and then when taken to bed at 9, wouldn’t sleep for 2 whole hours and 2 diapers – dear reader, let me tell you: there were tears, and Amelia’s eyes were dry. Tom made me promise to call people this morning and ask for help with the sleeping torture. Sniffling, I promised. Amelia dropped off the boob. I switched off the light, hoping her doze would hold for at least half and hour. I woke up again at 1 AM, only to find her still asleep. I woke at 3 AM, and she was STILL asleep. The world stayed upside down like this until 4:30 AM, when she needed a diaper change, and then dropped off again until 7 AM, when Tom went in to work. Miracle of miracles!

Of course, then I started wondering if she was sick or something…

I’m sure this is all par for the course and it’s just that I’m over-emphasizing the need for night-time sleep, right? That I have unrealistic expectations that she might sleep, reliably, for at least 3 hour intervals while it’s dark out? Do other babies reject the swaddle at 2 weeks? Am I swaddling wrong? Now that I’ve got some sleep under my belt, I’m much more able to stand the truth, so give it to me straight.

 

oh, sleep November 22, 2008

Filed under: postpartum — andreamiddleton @ 9:42 pm

I miss you so much…

 

She can’t get no November 20, 2008

Filed under: breastfeeding, postpartum — andreamiddleton @ 7:58 pm

Amelia seems to be in another growth spurt – she’s been cluster feeding again, which today meant that she’s nursed practically non-stop since about 10 am and hasn’t napped longer than 30 minutes all day. Wow!  Since Tom was at work all day, this means that I prepared all my meals and attended to all my other necessary bodily functions in quick, frantic intervals or with the baby in my arms.  Needless to say, I mostly watched Insta-Netflix all day.

What’s starting to sink in for me is how boring maternity leave might get.  I love caring for my daughter, but at the end of the day I also like thinking, “well, I got that done anyway.”  A successful day of changing diapers and feeding the baby doesn’t feel like I’m really … I don’t know, making progress?  Accomplishing something?

Should I be more zen about this?  Am I being unloving?  After all, on days like this I can barely care for both of us.  And I can’t imagine being a good mother to a newborn if I had another priority to attend to as well.

… frantically demanded nursing break …

Not trying to complain.  Not sure what’s the point here.  Probably I just need to get out of the house again.  Argh.